Exclusively Yours (Joe & Ella Book 2) Page 4

  “And that was his stroke of good luck.”

  “Yep, he used some to pay off greedy Hollywood wives who wouldn’t let go, and then he asked me if I’d go with him, across the country to start a new life where no one knew him. He wanted to use the money to open a gym and make a life for himself. He wanted me to be his partner, but I wasn’t going to take his money so I offered to work for him. What more can I say, in 5 years Joe doubled Estelle’s money. Now he’s added a zero on the end of that figure.

  With all the money he has, he’s never been truly happy though. He doesn’t trust women, or rather he didn’t used to. He’d been used by them, he had no respect for them and he decided he didn’t want to let a woman use him ever again. So he started to use them instead. No strings, no feelings, no one gets hurt. He’s never had a girlfriend Ella, you’re the first. You’ve changed him. He trusts you like he’s never trusted a woman ever, not even his own mother.”

  What could I say to that? I could see now why he was guarded, why he found it so hard to be around other people. He hadn’t had the best experiences in life and everyone had either used him, wanted something from him or manipulated him. I didn’t want anything. I just wanted him, his time, his touch, his love. I couldn’t stop the tears from falling, and Max passed me a tissue as I quietly sobbed. I was so confused.

  “I still need a bit more time to process all this Max. I’m still hurting and I need to get things straight in my head.”

  “I know, just don’t give up on him, please.”

  I nodded I felt exhausted. Max stood and gave me a hug.

  “I’ll get going, I need to check in on Joe anyway, make sure he’s okay.”

  I must have gone pale remembering the awful news Max told me that he swore to take to his grave.

  “Don’t worry Ella, he’d never do anything like that again.”

  “God I hope not.”

  I let Max out then took myself off to my room to be alone with my thoughts. I had to start taking control of this situation, of my life. Neither of us could carry on like this. I drifted off into another hazy dream of sad little boys, looking lost and lonely, looking for love and only finding hate.

  5

  Later that evening I felt a little more like the old me. I’d made the decision to return to work on Monday morning. I had to get my old routine back and rebuild my life. It wasn’t fair to leave my colleagues doing all my work and I needed a purpose to my days.

  It was around 11pm when my phone rang and I saw Max’s name flash up on my mobile. I instantly felt like a lead weight had fallen in my stomach because I knew a call from him at this time of the night wasn’t going to be good news.

  “What’s up Max? What’s happened?” I answered in a panic.

  “Ella, I’m sorry to call you this late but I’m worried about Joe. None of us can find him and he said some pretty worrying things to some of us today. I’m scared he’s gone off to do something… bad. I know you tracked him down last time I thought you might know where he is now.”

  I felt sick, “I’ll need to ring you back in a few minutes Max, I need to check an app on my phone.” I rung off straight away and with shaking hands I accessed the app. The pin told me Joe was at home and had been there all evening. My hands shook uncontrollably as I redialled Max’s number.

  “Hey Max, it says he’s at home and has been all evening.” I could hear Max walking around what I assumed was Joe’s apartment.

  “Shit, his phone is on the kitchen counter, he must have gone out without it. Can you think of anywhere he might be?”

  “He used to go up to a place he called the common but I couldn’t tell you where it is, sorry Max. He only drove me up there once and I’d struggle to find it again. I could try though. Give me ten minutes and I’ll be with you ok. We can go together.”

  “Thanks Ella, you’re a star.”

  I grabbed my coat and handbag then headed out to my little car. I managed to find a parking space in the street round the corner from Joe’s apartment so I parked up and ran round to the lobby. The lift seemed to take forever to climb up to the top. All the time I was waiting in there I prayed that Joe was okay. I didn’t know how I would cope if he’d done anything stupid.

  As the lift opened I saw that Joe’s front door was open and as I entered I heard male voices. Max, Charlie and few other men I hadn’t ever met before, were standing around in Joe’s living room some looking concerned, others looking bored and inconvenienced.

  “Ella, thanks for coming, I wasn’t sure what else to do.” Max said walking over to grab me in a hug.

  “Do I get one of those?” Charlie sneered.

  “Fuck off Charlie.” Max turned an angry glare towards Charlie. “If Joe were here he’d knock you out for even thinking that.” Charlie just shrugged smugly. I hated him, he made my skin crawl.

  “Have you looked around to see if there’s any clues to where he might have gone around here? Maybe something in his diary or phone notifications?”

  “Good idea Ella, you probably know more about where to look, is that okay?”

  “Yeah of course Max, I’ll start in the bedroom.”

  “Best place for you to be sweetheart.” Charlie piped up.

  “Enough Charlie, if you’re not gonna help then just fuck off.” Max was so angry I’d never seen him so on edge. The others were just standing round looking completely useless. I felt like telling them all to sod off myself right now.

  I walked into Joe’s bedroom which was a complete mess. The bed wasn’t made, his clothes were scattered all over the floor and empty bottles of alcohol littered every surface. I grabbed some bottles, and picked some of the clothes up off the floor and popped them into the laundry basket in the bathroom as I did. Max came in with Joe’s mobile and handed it to me, he had no lock on his phone and when I clicked on it to open his screen saver, there was a picture of me asleep. I had no idea that picture even existed. It must have been taken at the spa we visited, I recognised the bed linen. I smiled sadly, he had so many sweet little quirks that totally sent my mind into a whirl.

  It was then that I heard raised voices. I walked towards the doorway but stopped dead when I heard Joe’s voice, slurring and shouting.

  “Piss off the lot of you, what the hell are you doing here anyway? I don’t want you here… I don’t even like any of you… just fuck off.”

  “Where’ve you been Joe we were all worried.” Max asked.

  “That’s none of your fucking business, get out.”

  “You shouldn’t be on your own right now Joe, not when you’re drinking like this.” Max added.

  “I can drink as much as I want it’s none of your fucking business. Just get lost…get out…fuck off… NOW!”

  Things seemed to break into some kind of scuffle and my heart jumped in fear, I heard Max say, “Oh shit, grab his arms get him to the bathroom.”

  I couldn’t chance him seeing me, not in the mood he was in, so I hid in the walk in wardrobe as I heard the men walk in huffing and puffing. I walked forward and saw them, part carrying part dragging a very inebriated Joe into the bathroom, he couldn’t even stand up.

  I made my way to the living room and saw the vomit all over the floor by the hallway. Great, Joe was so drunk he couldn’t even make it to a sink or toilet in time. I went into the kitchen and filled a bucket with water and cleaning fluid, then searched his cupboards for cloths, stain remover and rubber gloves. Once I was well kitted up, I went back out to the hallway and dropped to my knees to scrub the mess. I knew these guys wouldn’t clean up, apart from Max of course, and Joe wouldn’t want to wake up tomorrow and be faced with that. It was a grim, dirty job, but someone had to do it and that someone right now was me.

  “Ella, you shouldn’t be doing that.” Max walked up behind me looking haggard. The stress of dealing with all this was starting to show on his kind face.

  “Who else is gonna clean it up Max? Not those lot in there and there’s no way I’m leaving this for you.”


  “Let Joe do it in the morning, it’s his mess.”

  “I can’t.” I smiled sadly. “How is he?”

  “Unconscious at the moment. We got him in the shower and blasted him with cold water to try to sober him up, but he’s beyond that. Now he’s propped up over the toilet looking a right state.”

  I got up to take the cleaning stuff back to the kitchen and clean myself up then I went to walk towards the bathroom where he was.

  “He won’t want you seeing him like that Ella.”

  “Tough, I’m here now so I’m going in.” I said defiantly.

  When I walked into the bathroom I lost my cool completely. Joe was dripping wet, draped over the toilet seat and his so called friends were standing around joking and laughing. I hated seeing him so vulnerable and out of control.

  I snapped, “Get out, all of you. We don’t need your kind of help anymore.”

  “Charming!” Charlie said looking amused with himself.

  “I mean it…piss off, now!” I glared at them all as they looked at me in mock horror.

  “Whatever sweet heart, enjoy the rest of your night.” Charlie said looking down at Joe and laughing then he waltzed out.

  The rest followed apart from two of the quieter men, who turned to me and Max, who had now joined me in the bathroom, and one said, “Do you want our help getting him onto the bed before we go? We can’t leave him there all night.”

  “Yeah that’ll be great thanks.” Max said softly.

  I stood back as the three men struggled to pick up my dark angel and drag him into the bedroom, where they just about managed to get him onto the bed, wet clothes and all. I went back to the kitchen to grab another bucket and put it at the side of the bed in case Joe woke up and was ill again.

  “Good thinking.” Max added.

  The two guys left me and Max alone. We both stood in the living room and I became certain what my next move was.

  “You go home Max, I’ll stay here tonight and check he’s okay and doesn’t choke on his own vomit or anything like that.”

  “Nice job hey!” Max tried to lighten the mood, but his face was tired and full of worry.

  “I’ll ring you if I need you, but I’m staying. I need to. I need to be here for him.”

  Max nodded, he got it. I could never go home after seeing him like this. I needed to help him, needed to try to put him back together, if he’d let me. After everything I’d heard about his early life I felt it was up to me now to repair the damage of the last few days.

  Max headed out, but not before I gave him a massive hug and thanked him for being such a good friend to Joe. When the door closed and all was quiet I took a deep breath in and looked over to the bedroom door. “What were you thinking getting in that state?” I thought to myself, “You could have been killed, knocked over, robbed, hurt anything.” I sighed and walked towards the bedroom to start operation repair my Joe.

  He was spark out on the bed, breathing deeply. His clothes were still wet and I thought how uncomfortable that would be if he woke up, so I tried rolling him around to take off his wet things. He was so deep in sleep he didn’t even stir as I managed to pull his shirt off, roll his trousers off and then socks, shoes and lastly boxers. My beautiful fallen angel looked stunning, I noticed a new tattoo on his chest and stroked my fingers lightly over it. Then I rolled him so that I could pull the duvet back and put him underneath it.

  Once he was drier and settled under the duvet he looked like my Joe again. I put his wet clothes in the wash basket and cleared up the mess in the bathroom. I looked around for his spare towels but couldn’t find them in the bathroom so I went hunting for them in the bedroom drawers, finally finding them in the walk in wardrobe. They were in a cupboard by the door along with a large black box. I knew I was snooping but I couldn’t stop myself as I pulled the black box off the shelf and opened it.

  My mouth fell open. Inside were hundreds of pictures of me. Some CCTV stills from that first night at the club Elite, others were of me on the street or taken on our dates when I hadn’t realised he was taking pictures. There were also quite a few of me asleep. I didn’t feel violated though, they were sweet pictures, images of our story. They made me feel hopeful, loved. I pushed them aside and laughed softly as I found every pair of ripped underwear he’d ever ruined hidden underneath the pictures. Who knew he was so sentimental and soppy? I also found menus, flyers, tickets and other memorabilia from every single place we’d visited. This was Joe’s box of memories and they were all about me. A piece of my heart slotted back into place right then, and the ache I was living with right now softened a little.

  At that moment I wanted to be close to him, so I closed the box and placed it back exactly as I found it so he wouldn’t know I’d seen it. Then I closed the cupboard and tiptoed back into the bedroom. Joe hadn’t moved an inch and was still breathing heavy. I knelt down next to him and gently brushed his dark wavy hair off his forehead with my fingers. He was so beautiful and I loved him so much. I realised in that second, I’d never stopped. I stood and moved silently to the other side of the bed, my side. Then I took my clothes off and slipped under the covers, smelling him on my pillow. I wondered if he’d been using my pillow since I left.

  I lay with my back to him, feeling contented to just be in the bed next to him, hearing him breathing. Then I felt warm strong arms snake around my waist and pull me towards him. I froze in fear, I had no idea he was awake. I dreaded what he would say, would he know it was me or think I was another woman?

  He breathed in my hair lazily and sighed, “I missed you Ella. I’m glad you came back to me. I’ll never let you go again angel.”

  “I missed you too.” I replied, “So much it hurt.” I linked my fingers through his and relaxed into him, my back to his chest.

  I heard his breathing steady and I knew he was asleep again. I fell asleep in his arms that night, feeling the most relaxed I had felt all week. I was home.

  6

  ​I woke up the next morning with a long lazy stretch. I felt like I was back where I belonged. I turned over to see if Joe was next to me but the bed was cold and empty. I sat up and listened for any sounds in the apartment but it was deadly silent. “Please don’t be out drinking again.” I thought to myself. I flung the duvet from my legs and sauntered over to the walk in wardrobe, picking one of Joe’s shirts to put on so I could go snooping again around the apartment.

  ​There was no sign of life in the living room so I headed to the kitchen where I’d left my phone and handbag the previous night. I needed to make a coffee to help me deal with what today might bring and I knew Robyn and Chris would have texted and called asking me where I was. I needed to fill them in on the events of last night.

  ​As I pushed the door open I saw Joe sat at the island in the middle of the kitchen, his back to me, dressed in his boxers with his head in his hands. No doubt he felt guilty for everything he’d put us through last night.

  ​“You okay?” I asked gently.

  ​“What are you doing here?” He snapped angrily, he wasn’t happy to see me, and didn’t even lift his head to look at me. I was taken aback, I’d thought he would be jumping for joy after what he said and did when I came to bed last night. Did he forget that? I suddenly felt nervous, I had no idea how this was going to go and I felt out of control.

  ​“You weren’t well enough to leave on your own last night Joe and Max doesn’t deserve all this shit. I stayed to look after you.” I glared over at him but he still kept his head in his hands, his chest rising and falling as he was breathing in deeply obviously trying to keep himself calm. Great I made him angry now. Well guess what, I’m pissed off too asshole.

  ​“Well I’m fine now so you can just go.” He stood up turning to open the kitchen door, his muscles rippling and looking deadly. I had to resist the urge to go to him and run my hands along those powerful arms and down his body. How is it I could be so mad with him and still find him insanely attractive? I knew right then I could never be
in a room with him without feeling this maddening desire. Did he feel the same way? Was that why he was trying to get away from me? Without a glance my way he walked into his living room and sat down on the sofa.

  ​I followed him through to the living area, like a moth to a flame. My body needed to be close to him but my brain told me there was no chance he was getting away with treating me like this. He had to be taught a lesson.

  ​“You know what, you are a selfish son of a bitch.” I snapped, “You had all of us running round like crazy last night, we were out of our minds with worry. Do you have any idea what sort of things were going through our heads? What we thought might have happened to you?” I crossed my arms over my chest, panting in anger. How dare he brush me off like this. I deserved some respect damn it.

  ​“I’m fine, as you can see, so just go.” He acted like he didn’t care but he wasn’t that good an actor, I could see he was struggling with my being here. He was so on edge he didn’t know how to play this.

  ​I started shaking, he needed to hear how truly pissed off I was right now, for mine and Max’s sake. He needed to know there were people who cared about him, he wasn’t some lone wolf who could do things like this.

  ​“Joe, we were one step away from trawling the hospitals last night. Do you know how worried we were, and no I’m not just going to go, you’re going to hear this whether you like it or not.”

  ​He threw his head back to rest against the sofa and look up at the ceiling.