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  ​“Get the shit off your chest then, sweet heart and then leave. My heads banging and I can do without your lecture today.”

  ​I shook my head and laughed in irritation, “I’m not your sweet heart” I seethed and he flinched slightly before blowing out a big breathe and grunting “Whatever.” As he ran his hands over his face. “Your heads gonna feel a lot worse when I’ve done.” I sat on the sofa opposite his but he still wouldn’t look at me, his eyes stayed fixed on the ceiling as if I was an irritation and he was waiting for me to disappear. Tough luck ace.

  ​“11pm Max called me. I thought he was going to tell me something awful, I felt sick Joe. Sick with worry about you. Although God knows why. You don’t deserve my worry. You know I’ve probably got a speeding ticket with how fast I drove over here last night.”

  ​“Send the receipt to my office I’ll pay it for you. There, is that it, are we done?”

  ​“No we’re not done! You came in steaming drunk, swearing at everyone and throwing the few friends you still have out of your apartment. Then you threw up all over the hallway carpet.” He moved his head forward and looked over at the hallway, “Yes, I got on my hands and knees and cleaned that up for you.”

  ​“Thanks. But you didn’t need to.” He muttered, then he leaned forward and put his head in his damned hands again.

  ​“I know I didn’t need to, I don’t need any of the shit your giving me right now either. Aren’t you even gonna look at me?”

  ​“No” he sighed, “I can’t. Just say what you’ve gotta say then go so I can get on with the rest of my day.” Was he embarrassed or was he trying to protect himself? I couldn’t read him at all right now. I wanted to try to get through to him so I changed tack and tried to touch his remorseful side, see if he felt any guilt for anything at all.

  ​“You need to realise that you aren’t alone any more Joe. People care about you. Max and me, we care. Charlie and the others are shit friends I’ll give you that, but me and Max we were heartbroken to see you like that Joe.” He gave a huge sigh.

  ​“Why did you get into bed with me?”

  ​“I was scared you might choke if you were sick again.”

  ​“Great, thanks for that. You could have just rolled me over and put cushions behind me to keep me on my side. You didn’t have to lower yourself to watching over me all night. I’m a big boy now Ella.”

  ​“It wasn’t just because of that.” I had to put myself out there, we weren’t making any progress here, “I missed you Joe, I wanted to be close to you. Yeah, stupid I know, but I thought you might be grateful for someone actually showing you some love and affection even though you were a complete ass last night.”

  ​He shook his head now with a weird smirk or grimace on his face, I couldn’t work out which it was. Again this man was a puzzle to me. I was losing patience fast here, it was make or break time.

  ​“What’s the matter now, don’t you believe me?” I asked.

  ​“I’m not a good man… I’m no good for you Ella. You were right to leave me, I’m not good enough for you.” He spoke so quietly and made me feel so sad in that moment that I pushed all my thoughts of reason out of my head and went with my heart. I slipped off the sofa and crawled across the living room to kneel at the side of him. I put my hand on his knee and shook it gently, trying to encourage him to look at me but he kept his face covered.

  ​“I can’t pretend I’m not hurt by what I saw, and to be honest I would be quite happy to never talk about that ever again. But I love you Joe, I can’t just switch that off.”

  ​He kept shaking his head but stayed silent, making me more and more confused by the minute.

  ​“Don’t you want me anymore?” I whispered, “Do you want me to leave?”

  ​He dropped his hands into his lap but kept his eyes down cast. His face was awash with misery now, it broke my heart to see this strong man so broken.

  ​“I love you more than I’ve ever loved anyone in my whole life Ella, I feel like I’m dying here. Of course I still want you, all I think about is you. But I’m broken. You deserve better. You were right I am worse than him…I’m worse than Adam.”

  ​“You are not worse than Adam, I only said that in anger. You could never be as cruel as he was. You are kind and thoughtful, you’ve always treated me with respect and care and…Joe just look at me please.”

  ​He lifted his eyes to mine. He looked so tired and the sparkle in his eyes that I loved had dulled. He looked empty, but I was here to rebuild him, he needed me to bring the sparkle back. I reached up and brushed my hand across his cheek and along his slightly more stubbly chin. I smiled, “Are you growing a beard or is this just temporary?” He smiled back at me then.

  ​“That depends.” He replied coyly.

  ​“On what?” I questioned.

  ​“On whether you prefer men with beards or not.” I laughed.

  ​“I like you whether you shave or not. You’re beautiful and you’re mine.”

  ​His eyes widened at hearing me say that and he took a deep breath. To be honest it came out of my mouth subconsciously, but I meant it, he was mine. Beard or not. I felt a small piece of my heart fused back together making the pain in my chest ease up even more.

  ​“I like being yours.” He tentatively stroked my cheek now and I leaned into his hand. I had missed this. “I’ll do anything to put things right baby. I’m so sorry. I’m not like that anymore you know that don’t you? That’s not me. I would never do those things ever again. I feel so ashamed, just disgusted with myself. I hate that you’ve seen any of that time, of me and those... women. It’s been eating me alive.”

  ​I believed him, “It’s not going to be easy and sometimes I might lash out in anger, I hate thinking of you with anyone else even if it did happen years ago. You’re mine. I’m jealous too you know. I can’t stay away from you though. I love you too much to throw away what we have, what we found.”

  ​“I’m so sorry I hurt you, the last thing I would ever want to do is hurt you Ella. I live for your smiles, your laughter. I wanted to keep all… ‘that’ buried where it belongs, in the trash. It was a horrible, vile time for me and I didn’t want you to see any of it. I’m so sorry sweetheart.” He hung his head down in shame again.

  ​“I should have listened to my own advice Joe, it was in the past, the past can’t be changed, we can only change the future. I want to leave all that crap in the bin too. It wasn’t you I saw, not the you I know and love.” He smiled slightly and looked up into my eyes. The glitter in his gorgeous grey eyes was slowly returning. I felt a spark of hope myself. I wanted to make this work, I had to try.

  ​“You were right to be upset, I should have left you alone at the start, I knew I wasn’t good enough for you, but I’m selfish Ella. I wanted you. I wanted to make you mine. But I shouldn’t have.”

  ​“Can you just stop that right now? You’ve made mistakes but we need to focus on where we go from here, and if I hear you say anything negative about yourself I’m gonna start kicking off... That’s my man you’re talking about so quit with the negativity. My man is the best. I only ever have the best.”

  ​He laughed for real now at my repetition of his mantra ‘only the best’. “Only the best for my girl.”

  ​“Exactly.” I hooded my eyes at him now. We needed to take this make-up session down a different route. I hadn’t seen him for so long and I was horny as hell right now.

  ​“Are you giving me the ‘come to bed’ eyes Miss Reid?”

  ​“We don’t need the bed Mr Madden.”

  ​I moved myself so I was kneeling straight in front of him, and slipped my hands slowly along his thighs until I made it to his boxers. I stroked my fingers lightly up and down the front then used both of my hands to grab the elasticated waistband as he lifted his hips to help me pull them down, a hungry look on his face that spurred me on even more. I freed his erection which stood up long, hard and proud.

  ​I put my hand around h
is thickness and purred, “I missed this.” He looked down at me with that sparkle glittering fully now. I licked along the round head of his cock, as I tasted his salty pre cum, then swirled my tongue around the head, down the shaft and back up. Joe was breathing heavier now.

  ​“I’ve missed this….I missed you.” He gasped. “I love you so much Ella.”

  ​I continued licking, nibbling, and using my hand to move his shaft up and down, stroking him firm and steady, building the pleasure for him in a slow seductive way. I reached up with my other hand to massage his balls and use my nails in the way that drove him wild. His hands were braced either side of him on the sofa like he was waiting for an electric shock to strike through his body.

  ​I moved my mouth over the head of his cock and sucked and kissed him, pushing him in and out of my mouth taking him a little further each time until I pushed him fully into my throat past my tonsils as he groaned out. I loved bringing him this much pleasure. I had him in the palm of my hand right now.

  ​I kept licking, sucking and pushing him further to the brink of ecstasy as he rolled his head back groaning. I wanted to make him come apart, I wanted to see him unravel so I kept my pace slow, achingly slow. After all he had been the one to tell me about delayed gratification. I didn’t want to rush anything right now, we’d been away from each other for way too long, we needed this.

  ​He grabbed my hair now as I gently upped the pace, jerking his hips up into me and holding my head still so he felt more in control, his breathing deep and strained. His dominating actions turning me on, and made me wriggle where I sat, desperate for some relief myself. I loved to hear his moans and feel him give in to his basest desires. I loved being the one to do this to him.

  ​I could feel he was losing it and he pulled himself slowly out of my mouth as his hooded sexy eyes looked down at me.

  ​“Fuck me beautiful.” He growled as he leaned forward to pull me up onto his lap.

  ​I straddled him and kissed him like I would die if I didn’t, our tongues were massaging each other’s and our lips softly stroking, it felt so sexy. He reached underneath the shirt I was wearing. I had no underwear one and he growled as I lifted myself up and whispered in his ears, “I need to be in you now.” This was going to be hard and fast.

  ​I reached for his cock and rubbed him along my folds and then over my entrance as I sunk right down onto him until he was so far in me I could feel his balls on my ass. The stretch he created in me was insane, I lived for that feeling, him and me as one.

  ​I took control, kissing him deep, fucking his mouth as I lifted up and down, slowly to enjoy the stretching feeling his cock made when he was in me. Then swirling on his hips, I used his cock to massage me inside, round and round before repeating up down, grinding on him to build us both to a spectacular finish. He held on to my hips then cupped my ass, guiding me down and showing me when he wanted the pace to change. We worked together to reach the crest of ecstasy. Both of us knowing each other’s bodies, knowing what the other liked, what would push us over the edge.

  ​Joe reached down to rub my clit as I started to bounce faster up and down, round and round. My head fell back in complete abandon I couldn’t get enough of him. Joe suddenly flipped and grabbed my hips, throwing me down on the sofa as he reared up over me and held my hips still as he rutted hard into me, my legs wrapped around his waist now as he stayed leaning up, watching where his cock was pounding into me, the look on his face told me it was the ultimate turn on for him to see himself moving in and out, watching how he filled me. It made him feel powerful, dominant.

  ​The ripple of my orgasm became a wave then a tsunami as I contracted hard around him and I cried out his name. He fell forward on top of me as he reached his own climax, the feel of him throbbing and milking his own orgasm as he jutted into me in sporadic thrusts made me feel so much for him. I wanted to hold him close and never let go.

  ​“Fuck Ella, that was…God I can’t describe it.” He gasped. “You are never leaving me ever. I won’t ever let you go.”

  ​“I’m not going anywhere.” I panted burying my head in his neck.

  ​“Shit I thought you were gonna strangle my cock, you came so hard.”

  ​“I missed you!”

  ​“Maybe I should go away more. That was…” he sighed happily, “It was the best ever.”

  ​“Only the best for my man.” I joked.

  ​We lay together on that sofa for ages, neither one of us ready to break contact or the bubble we were in now. I ran my finger over the new tattoo Joe had on his chest. It looked like symbols, maybe Chinese or some other decorative language.

  ​“What’s this?” I asked.

  ​“It’s my new tattoo.”

  ​“Well I can see that, what is it?”

  ​“It’s Hebrew lettering.”

  ​“Oh right, what does it say?”

  ​He smiled a massive smug smile at me, “Ella.”

  ​“Yes?” I said thinking he was asking me something.

  ​He shook his head grinning at me “That’s what it says, it says Ella.”

  ​My eyes grew huge as I put my whole hand over his tattoo.

  ​“You got my name tattooed on your chest?”

  ​“No I got your name tattooed over my heart Ella. You own it so I figured I may as well brand it. You’ve branded me Ella. I’m yours 100 percent, its official.”

  ​“I love it!” I kissed the tattoo and then hugged him like I would never let go.

  ​“I need to get your name branded on me now.”

  ​“No way. I won’t allow any tattoo artist, however talented they are, to touch your skin. You’re perfect as you are, I don’t want any ink on you.”

  ​I nodded, I wasn’t keen on putting any ink on me, I liked it on him, but I wasn’t too keen on having any on me.

  ​“I’ll brand you in other ways baby.” He winked.

  A knock sounded on the door and we heard Max’s voice on the other side so we reluctantly sat up and untangled ourselves from each other. Joe pulled his boxers back on, I checked his shirt was covering my modesty and he opened the door.

  ​“I thought I’d pop over, see how things are today.” Max said looking past Joe at me where I was sitting on the sofa and grinning a cheeky grin.

  ​Joe held the door open further so Max could walk in.

  ​“Well this apartment smells of sex right now so I’m guessing things are a lot better than yesterday.” Max joked.

  ​Joe laughed and I went bright red, shocked Max would say such a thing. I instantly jumped up and opened the patio doors onto Joe’s balcony. I don’t know why but I suddenly felt embarrassed in front of Max.

  ​“Sorry Ella, I didn’t mean to embarrass you.” He said smiling fondly over at me.

  ​“I can’t believe you said that Max.”

  ​Joe pulled me down onto his lap and I wrapped my arms around his neck, kissing him on his prickly jaw before snuggling into his shoulder and stroking his new tattoo fondly. “She’s not shy, not really.”

  ​“Yes I am.” I protested stubbornly, but I went all girlie then, blushing and trying to hide my face, “I am sometimes anyway.”

  ​“You don’t know how happy I am right now, to see you two like this.” Max grinned. “My work here is done folks!” He got up from the sofa and walked over to the door.

  ​“Aren’t you gonna stay for a cuppa?” I asked.

  ​“No, you two have missed enough time with each other. I don’t want to be the third wheel. Enjoy the rest of the weekend lovers. See you soon!” And with that he opened the door and left us alone and back in our bubble.

  7

  ​When Monday morning came around I floated into the office on cloud nine. The ache that had torn my chest apart had gone and I felt lighter, more at ease. I was me again. Yes, I was still angry at the whole website, women and crappy fitness whore thing that had broken us apart, but I was learning to push it to the back of my mind whenever I felt the jealou
sy rear its ugly head. The venom that built up in me towards those women would poison me eventually and I couldn’t let that happen so I focused on all the positives we had together, Joe and I. I concentrated on how he made me feel and how we were when we were together. That was what was important. Not those whores from the past.

  I never mentioned to Joe that Max had been to see me. I didn’t want Joe to know that I knew about his past. He was a proud man, and I would never have damaged his masculinity in that way, or made him feel weak. He was my hero, my fighter and I wanted to nurture that side of him.

  I powered my computer up and started trawling through my emails, seeing what I had missed last week.

  “Feeling better love?” Frank asked as he strolled confidently into the office.

  “Much better, thanks Frank. Did I miss much?”

  “No Ella, everything just ticked over nicely. You did a good job on that pet store account. Think they’ll be using us again very soon. They wanted to thank you themselves so they might contact you this week.”

  “That’s great.” I enthused. Things were really looking up and it felt great.

  Chris crashed into the office about twenty minutes later, and when I say crashed he literally did crash in. He was spinning around through the door singing Kylie’s ‘Spinning Around’ and gyrating his hips. He fell through the door and over the wellies that Colin had left at the door. A strange choice of footwear for the city, but he said it had been raining when he left for work at 6am and he didn’t want to get his shoes wet. Colin was a strange one.

  “What the hell Chris, you look like Kylie’s clumsy uncoordinated brother.” I teased.

  “I am channelling my diva vibes right here girlfriend, I am the master of all things Kylie.” He put his hands together in prayer as if he was some pop guru then his twinkling eyes met mine. “I got laid on Saturday night!”

  I screamed and clapped my hands as Kim came bounding into the office her eyes hungry for the juicy gossip.

  “Spill it dude! Name, age, how hot was he, are you seeing him again?”

  Kim perched herself on the edge of Colin’s desk. Colin looked peeved that she was even touching his desk and stood up to excuse himself and make a hot drink. Gossip was not his thing.