Forever Yours Read online

  Remember, what you do now will come back to you in the future. Life has a funny way of making you deal with what you make others go through.

  -Karma

  Prologue

  Our time is now my love, we’ve waited so long for this, too long. All the pieces are in place and the next move is ours. He will not know what has hit him, but he will learn. When it’s the end he will know exactly who has come for him and why. He will know his demise was an inevitability he brought upon himself.

  A life as precious as yours cannot fade away quietly into the ether. Your eternal light and beauty shall shine on forever more once his darkness has been eradicated from this world. I have made it my life’s work to make it so. You will have the redemption you deserve.

  Forever your love

  Forever Mine

  1

  It was late evening by the time I pulled up outside the ramshackle bungalow that I called my childhood home. The lanes leading to my Nan’s house were narrow and over grown with bushes on either side, making it impossible to pull over if another car came the other way. Luckily traffic in this part of the world was scarce, so I had a free flow down to the bumpy waste land that Nan called her drive. The bungalow was surrounded by fields which were picturesque and farmed regularly, something I loved to watch as a child. Those massive combine harvesters looked like metal monsters on the landscape and gave me comfort and security. Who would dare invade our idyllic little home with those mighty metal guards out on patrol?

  There was a higgledy-piggledy wall that ran around the whole exterior of the bungalow, a wall that my Grandad had proudly built himself when they first moved in. It was made with uneven rocks piled haphazardly on top of one another and stood just below waist height. You wouldn’t want to sit on it though, for fear of the thing toppling down under your weight.

  The garden was always full of plants and flowers to complement each season, and one side of the building was dedicated to growing fruits and vegetables which my Nan was extremely proud of. Often she would make jams to take to the local farmers’ market, but more often than not she gave them all away for free. That was Nan, always generous to a fault.

  I saw the well-used garden fork, spade and hoe leaning against the back wall. A wheel barrow full of compost sat next to them and Nan’s gardening gloves were hanging off the end of the wheelbarrow’s handles. I smiled fondly at the familiarity of it all. I knew I had done the right thing coming here. This was just what I needed, simplicity.

  The bungalow itself was a hotchpotch of different coloured stones, bricks and tiles. Grandad wouldn’t use professional builders, instead opting to do any repairs himself. Since he passed away, Nan had taken that responsibility on herself. Even if I offered to pay for repairs she refused. ‘What is the point in paying someone to do a job we could do ourselves?’ was her opinion. She was a formidable woman and I hoped that I had half her vitality and thirst for life when I got to her age.

  I opened the little wooden gate that nestled inside Grandad’s stone wall and walked down the uneven path to the front door. It was still painted red, a colour I had chosen and helped Nan paint about fifteen years ago. The paint was peeling now. I would have to repaint it for her whilst I was here I thought. The small wooden window frames that ran around the property were painted pale blue and each one had their flowery curtains closed beyond.

  I had no idea if Nan would be home, she had such a hectic social life I couldn’t even remember what days she did what, it was always changing. I tried the door handle and sure enough the front door creaked open. It didn’t matter how many times I warned Nan to lock her doors she never did. She was still running on 1960s time, and the notion that someone would want to enter her home for anything other than a chat and a cuppa was alien to her. That was part of the reason why I couldn’t get her to visit me in the city, she hated the idea of the crowds and the impersonal way that us ‘city types’ lived.

  “Hello...Nan it’s only me, Ella.” I called out into the bungalow to warn her of my presence.

  The door to the kitchen flung opened and Nan appeared looking startled, holding a tea towel and a china cup that she was drying.

  “Ella! Child! What on earth are you doing here? Come over here and give your old Nan a hug.” I went over to her and gave her a massive hug, squeezing her so tight she gasped and then giggled.

  “Are you a sight for sore eyes, child. Why are you here? Haven’t you got work tomorrow?” She asked pulling back from my embrace.

  “I needed to see you Nan, I’ve made a horrible mess of everything.”

  Her eyes grew sympathetic which was my down fall and I unleashed the torrent of tears that I’d been holding back since I walked in.

  “I don’t need to ask if this is all related to a man, I can already see it in your eyes Ella. He better not show his face round here or he’ll have me to deal with.” Nan threatened and I believed her. She had a sharp tongue and even sharper wits. Anyone who got on Nan’s bad side knew about it.

  I sat down on the old brown velvet sofa and grabbed a flowery cushion to my lap, playing with the silky tassels around the edge to sooth me. Looking around, the living room hadn’t changed a bit. Dark wooden beams ran along the ceiling and down the walls too. The walls in between were painted white. Grandad’s water colours of the boats and sea scapes he enjoyed painting when he was alive adorned every available wall space. There was an old green leather recliner in one corner and a yellow flowery armchair covered in white lace head and arm rests in the opposite corner. The brown sofa I was sitting on was under the main living room window and a small old fashioned TV sat on a stand against the opposite back wall.

  Sitting looking around at these familiar and comforting surroundings I could easily fool myself into thinking I was a child again. The décor was straight out of the 1970s and had never changed in all the time I had lived here, it had only been added to. A new ornament or a rug from the market used to cover a part of the swirly orange carpet that was going thread bare. It didn’t bother Nan though, they were just things. Her favourite saying was ‘people matter not things Ella, always remember that’. I found myself wondering what Joe would make of it all, then scolded myself for even thinking about him.

  “So come on girlie, tell your old Nan what’s so dreadful that you had to hot foot it down to the back of beyond to see me.”

  “I’ve messed up big time Nan.”

  I looked at her calm thoughtful face full of lines and wrinkles. Her cheeks ruddy from the sea air and exertion of gardening, her hair still thick and lush but grey and tied into a bun at the nape of her neck. The smell of freshly baked bread swirled around her, making me want to bury my face in her chest like a child again. She was home to me.

  “Well it doesn’t look like your missing any limbs or bruised in any way, so it can’t be that bad. I’m sure we can get you right. Remember what I always say Ella, there’s no bad luck you can bring to my door other than you are hurt or in pain. Is it that wet lettuce of a man Adam again?”

  I grinned now, Nan had never liked Adam, she saw right through him from the start. Always calling him names and taking the mickey out of him when he wasn’t in ear shot.

  “No it’s not Adam we broke up ages ago. He’s ancient history.”

  “Well thank Goodness for that, because if you were getting yourself into a right royal mess like this over a runt like him I’d have to put you over my knee young girl.”

  “I was seeing someone else, someone older.”

  “How old?” She eyed me warily.

  “He was ten years older than me so only thirty four, it’s not as bad as it sounds honestly, and he was really fit and looked a lot younger.”

  “You don’t have to justify it Ella, as long as he wasn’t drawing hi
s pension. It’s up to you who you date my love.”

  “He was no good for me Nan, he’s a womaniser but I got carried away.”

  “Don’t we all dear.” She rolled her eyes and then smiled back at me.

  “You’re not the first girl to have the wool pulled over her eyes by a chancer Ella, and you won’t be the last.”

  “I wouldn’t describe him as a chancer Nan, more a…cocky, over confident Romeo type. I thought he really loved me but I kept hearing all these awful things about him and I just couldn’t cope anymore. I couldn’t deal with his past. It all sucks.”

  “Life does ‘suck’ most of the time Ella, it’s how you pick yourself up and dust yourself off that counts. Did he cheat on you?”

  “That’s the whole thing Nan, I don’t know. I think maybe he did, but then I remember everything he said and did and I just get so confused.”

  “There’s always at least three or four sides to every story you hear Ella, yours, his, hers, the truth. The path to finding true love never runs smoothly my girl.”

  “I know, and I just needed to get away to clear my head.”

  “Well that’s certainly something I can offer you love. This place will get the stresses of the city out of that pretty head of yours. Is there anything else you’re not telling me though Ella?”

  “I can’t talk about the details of…him, but yes there is one thing Nan.” I bent my head sheepishly.

  “You’re pregnant aren’t you.” She said putting one of her paper thin bony hands into mine.

  “How did you know?” I gazed in awe at her now. Was this some kind of older lady gift that you gained when you reached retirement, to be able to sense a pregnant woman at fifty paces?

  “I know you Ella, I could see it in your face, your eyes. You look green my love and tired too. Does he know?”

  “No and I don’t want to tell him yet, I’m still getting my head round it all myself.”

  “Okay, so have you seen a doctor?”

  “Yes I have a scan in two weeks.”

  “Good, at least that’s all sorted. Well you’ve come to the right place love. If there’s one thing we have down here its clean air, hearty food and zero stress. All a perfect combination for cooking up a little one like you are. I have to warn you though Ella, you won’t be hiding yourself away in these four walls. I’ve been boring anyone who’ll listen about my beautiful talented Granddaughter and now you’re here I shall be parading you around all my friends.”

  I had to laugh at Nan’s no nonsense attitude, no drama and lecture about being so careless and getting myself in this situation only an ‘oh well what’s happened has happened’ approach to everything and a stiff upper lip. I loved her to pieces.

  “So it’s Monday night which is book club. Nancy is hosting it these days and we’re reading the Fifty Shades of Grey books, they are a hoot. How naughty is that Christian Grey. Mind you your Grandad could have given him a run for his money in his day.” Only my Nan could have me blushing at that moment.

  “I don’t want to know Nan!” She howled with laughter at my embarrassment.

  “Tuesday is Salsa class. You will love that Ella, exercise is good for pregnant women and the teacher is a dream, he has such a tight little…”

  “Nan! I don’t want to know!” I elbowed her and she chortled in that cute belly laugh way that she did.

  “Wednesday I have the gang round for cards. We usually play chase the ace or gin rummy. If we are feeling daring we turn it into a poker night. Harold calls me the black widow because I always win, he even brought me black roses last week, the cheeky beggar!”

  I groaned at the mention of roses. Harold sounded like someone else I was trying to forget.

  “So, Thursday we have knit and natter over at the community centre. We usually bring a plate of goodies each and stuff our faces with cake and biscuits. Then Friday is bingo at the Prince of Wales.”

  “Nan, don’t you ever have a rest?”

  “I’ll rest when I’m dead dear.” She scolded me. “So Saturday is pub quiz night. I’ve joined the team at the Royal Oak. We call ourselves ‘Who let the Nan’s out’” She fell back into the sofa now laughing uncontrollably at her own joke. I just shook my head.

  “Then Sunday it’s the great British bake off. We take it in turns to cook the Sunday lunch and then a show stopping pudding that we all grade out of five. It’s Harold’s turn this week and I’m considering eating before I get there. His Ethel did all the cooking and she taught him a few things before she popped her clogs but he’s hopeless bless him. He could burn water that man.”

  “At least he tries.” I narrowed my eyes at her now.

  “Is Harold your boyfriend Nan?”

  Her eyes grew wide in horror, “Of course not child, don’t be so blooming ridiculous. He’s just a friend. Can’t a woman be friends with a man these days without everyone thinking they’re hopping into bed with each other?”

  “I didn’t mean that Nan! I was joking, relax.” The thought of my old Nan hopping into bed with anyone was ridiculous, she was my Nan, and she was too old for all that…surely. Oh God I didn’t even want to think about that.

  She patted my knee then pushed herself up off the sofa.

  “Well as much as I’d like to sit and chat about your hunky older man I’ve got a raunchy book club to attend, and tonight we are talking about the red room you know! Do you want to come love?”

  “Not this time, thanks Nan. I could do with an early night anyway.” Also the idea of discussing the red room of pain with a group of octogenarians sounded painful in itself, but I kept that to myself.

  “Okay sweet pea, your room is exactly as you left it. Help yourself to anything. There’s half an apple crumble left in the fridge if you want to warm that up with some custard. I’ll be back about elevenish. Don’t wait up!”

  With that Nan stood up and grabbed her water proof coat, the keys to her old Ford from the side table and waltzed out of the door. Seconds later the door flew open again.

  “Can’t forget Christian!” She sang as she picked up a well leafed through copy of her book and tucked it into her coat pocket. What was she like!

  2

  So here I was, alone with my thoughts. I had no mobile phone to call, text or message anyone and Nan didn’t have a computer so the only source of communication was the land line sitting on the side table. I picked up the receiver and called through to the Parker Hayes office. I knew I’d get the answer machine at this time of the evening, but I had to tell them I wouldn’t be in the next day. I made a garbled excuse about a family emergency and that I would be away for the foreseeable future, hoping and praying that they’d understand and not boot me out on my ass. Then I put in a call to Robyn. It rang out twice before she picked up.

  “Hello!” She sounded out of breath

  “Hi Robyn it’s me, Ella. If Joe is there don’t let him know you’re talking to me okay.”

  “He left about an hour ago, what’s going on Ella?”

  “The total destruction of my life, that’s what’s going on!”

  “Oh babe is it really that bad?”

  “What did he say to you?”

  “Only that you’d run away from him again and he needed to speak to you. He looked heartbroken Ella, he had tears in his eyes, and I’ve never seen him like that before.”

  “You know I was going over to his office at lunchtime to tell him about the baby? Well someone beat me to it.”

  “What do you mean? Someone else told him you were pregnant? I don’t get it Ella.”

  “No someone else is pregnant too. That bitch face Anna, and she claims it’s his.”

  “Shut the fucking front door, no fucking way! He didn’t say a thing about that when he came round. The lying cheating bastard!”

  “He swears blind it isn’t his, but she’s five freaking months Robyn…and she had pictures…of him…I don’t trust him anymore.”

  “I wouldn’t trust him either Elle, he has made way too many
fuck ups lately. Where are you anyway? When are you coming home?”

  “I’ve come down to stop with my Nan for a bit. Just until I can get my head around everything. Please, whatever you do don’t tell Joe where I am. The last thing I need right now is him turning up on Nan’s doorstep shouting the odds.”

  “Your Nan would annihilate him anyway.” Robyn laughed.

  “I know, that’s what I’m worried about. But seriously, I just need some time to myself to decide what I’m going to do for me and the baby.”

  “Okay chick, if you need anything just call okay. Either Chris or I can be down there with you in a few hours.”

  “I know and thanks, you’re both the best.”

  I said my goodbyes and hung up. Things were starting to improve already. I ran my hands over my tummy and looked down.

  “We can do this can’t we babba, me and you. I’ll be learning on the job but I’ll give you more love than you could ever hope for. That’s a start right?”

  I stroked my tummy and felt a warm glow inside knowing I would never be alone ever again.

  I headed to my old bedroom and chuckled to myself as I opened the door. Nan was right when she said it hadn’t changed a bit. There were still Coldplay and The Script posters on the wall over the pink rainbow and unicorn wallpaper, and bits and pieces of used makeup on the white dressing table. I had to learn to be tidier before this baby came along I thought. A large pink rug in the shape of a teddy bear sat in the middle of the floor and the bed spread was still pink and flowery with a cushioned pink velvet headboard topping off the cute girlie vibe. It looked like an eight year olds bedroom, but this was the room I’d lived in until I was eighteen years old. The décor had never bothered me before, but looking at it now I realised how much I had grown up since moving to the city. At least if I have a baby girl I won’t need to decorate this room, it’s already set!

  I plonked myself down onto the bed and sunk into it like Goldilocks. I’d forgotten how bouncy Nan’s beds were. Grandad had always said that if you spend a lot of money on anything it should be your shoes or your bed, because if you aren’t in one you’re in the other. So Nan always brought the best mattresses. She also put two mattresses on each bed in the bungalow for added comfort. It felt like you were sleeping on a cloud. Before I knew it I had drifted off into the deepest dreamless sleep I’d had since I’d left this homely heart-warming bungalow.