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  ​“You just don’t know when to quit do you Charlie?”

  ​“Always worth a try you know me Joe, it worked for you didn’t it so might work for me one of these days.” He winked at me and I felt Joe’s muscles go rigid.

  ​“Don’t listen to him he isn’t worth it.” I said, trying to get Joe to hear me but knowing it was futile, he was gearing himself for a fight, I could feel it.

  ​“She won’t be yours forever you know.” Charlie’s eyes looked evil as he glared at Joe.

  ​“It’s you isn’t it you little fucker.”

  ​“What’s me Joe? You stopped taking your meds again mate?” Charlie gave a mocking laugh that felt like nails scraping down a black board. All of my hairs stood on end.

  ​“You know what I mean, it’s you sending the letters isn’t it, the emails and messages.”

  ​“I’ve no idea what you’re on about mate, you’re crazy, always have been. She’ll see through you eventually. Can’t hide behind you money forever you know.”

  ​“I swear to God I’m gonna end you you little shit.”

  Joe moved me behind him and then launched himself at Charlie, knocking him out cold with one powerful right hook. Charlie went down like a sack of potatoes. The rest of the people around us just gasped as we all looked down at him crumpled on the floor out cold.

  ​“What the fuck mate?” Max peered down at Charlie before looking up at Joe who was still bristling for a fight his muscles tense and his jaw clenched tight. He would have continued pounding Charlie’s face if he hadn’t given up so easily.

  ​“It was him. He sent them. He more or less admitted it.”

  ​I was as confused as hell.

  “What are you on about Joe, Charlie is an asshole and a sleaze bag, but he didn’t admit to anything other than being a complete creep.” I argued.

  ​“Joe, it’s not Charlie I can tell you that much.” Max said sincerely.

  ​“What’s not Charlie, honestly you two, you need to tell me what’s going on here.”

  ​“Tell her Joe. She should know.”

  ​Joe shook his head but I snapped.

  ​“Tell me now or I walk.”

  ​“I can’t.”

  ​“Fine, see you at work tomorrow Chris, and Robyn I’ll see you later at home. Bye Max, thanks for… all this. I’d say it was fun but the ending was shit.” I walked to the door and headed out of the apartment to the stairs.

  As I ran down the stairs I heard a door crash open above me and bang into the wall.

  ​“Wait, Ella stop!” Joe was shouting now, running down the steps after me.

  ​I couldn’t out run him, he was way fitter and faster than me so I kept going until he caught up with me.

  ​“Stop, please talk to me.” He grabbed my arm to try and stop me but I shrugged him off me.

  ​“No, I’m going home.”

  ​“I’m not gonna apologise for laying Charlie out.”

  ​“I wouldn’t expect you to, he deserved it. But I want to know what’s going on.” I stopped and faced him now. Glaring at him in fury so he knew how serious I was.

  ​“Come with me to the car and we can talk there.”

  ​I let him lead me to his car and sat back in the passenger seat as he leaned over to open the glove compartment and pull some papers out.

  ​“I didn’t want to worry you, I thought I could deal with this myself.”

  ​“Whatever it is, we are supposed to be a couple Joe, you know, work together and face problems together. You have to stop shutting me out.”

  ​“I didn’t do it on purpose, I thought it was for the best.”

  ​“Just spill it, I’m tired and I want to go home.”

  ​He rubbed his hands over his face and turned in his chair to face me.

  ​“I’ve been getting letters, emails, hate mail that kind of stuff for a couple of months now. The usual thing threatening me, the business, my money. I’ve dealt with that before, it’s nothing new.”

  ​I was shocked.

  “You should go to the police, they could be from somebody really dangerous.” I was listening more intently now, my concern escalating.

  ​“The police have no power, they do fuck all. I can deal with it myself, I have security. I’m not worried. Well I wasn’t.”

  ​“So what changed?”

  ​“You. They started mentioning you in the letters Ella. Telling me you would find out about my past and leave me. Then when that wasn’t an issue they changed tack, threatening you. Writing what they were going to do to you in graphic detail. I didn’t want you to know. I talked to Sam and the security team at the club. They thought the threats were empty ones. I know you won’t like hearing this but we decided to put a discreet tail on you to check you were okay when I wasn’t around. Sam trailed you for a bit.”

  ​“I had no idea. I didn’t see him.”

  ​“You weren’t supposed to, he’s good at what he does you know.”

  ​I nodded, a sick feeling starting up in my tummy again.

  ​“He withdrew just before we went to Vegas, he couldn’t find any evidence that you were in danger. Then today I got this.” Joe pulled his mobile phone out and opened a message up before passing it to me. On the screen was a picture of me at the coffee shop earlier today buying up the entire shop to take back to Chris at the office. Whoever had taken the picture was stood only a few feet away from me. I couldn’t remember anyone particularly standing out in the shop and I hadn’t notice anyone taking a picture of me either.

  ​“I got this message too.” He closed the picture down and opened up the message for me to read.

  She smells good doesn’t she? Like vanilla, must be a new shampoo? She smelt of strawberries last week. I’m so close I could take her from you right now. Don’t worry I’d send you pictures of what I’d do to her. Maybe a video too? Watch this space.

  ​Who the hell had sent this? Joe reached over and pulled me across the car to sit on his lap and I buried my face in his neck. No wonder he had been so jumpy. I’d have gone insane if I’d had messages like that about him.

  ​“That’s why I came to get you baby. I raced over to make sure you were okay and I just wanted to take you home. Get you somewhere safe where I had complete total control.”

  ​“I’m so sorry.” I was crying now, big fat sobbing tears.

  ​“Don’t cry, I won’t let anything happen to you Ella. I promise.”

  ​“You can’t know that for sure though. We should go to the police.”

  ​“No, no police. I’ll get my team to set up some more surveillance and have Sam follow you again.”

  ​“Are those the letters?” I asked gesturing to the papers he had taken out.

  ​“Yes, do you want to read them?”

  ​“Can I?”

  ​“I’d prefer it if you didn’t but I won’t stop you.”

  ​They were vile, I couldn’t read them all. The disgusting things written about what the person would do to me made me shake. How could someone be so evil? I felt sick to my stomach.

  ​“Don’t read them all, they aren’t nice.” He urged me gently.

  ​“Why would someone do something like this? What do they want?”

  ​“Revenge. On me. I think it’s someone from my past Ella, but I haven’t worked out who yet. We are looking at a few possibilities though. Please don’t worry, you are safe with me.”

  ​“I know.”

  ​He held me tight in his strong arms and clung to me like I was his air, his life line.

  ​“If anything ever happened to you I wouldn’t ever forgive myself. I wouldn’t want to be here anymore. Not without you.”

  ​“Don’t say that.” I cupped his face and kissed him. I didn’t want to hear him say things like that. I didn’t ever want to hear him stop fighting.

  ​“Move in with me Ella, please. I need to know where you are and it’s safer in my building. The security is first class, the best.”

&nb
sp; ​“Okay.” I didn’t need convincing this time.

  ​He breathed a sigh of relief. “That was easier than I thought, thank you. I’ll arrange for someone to pick up your things over the next few days. I’ll make this right Ella. Honestly I will.”

  ​“I trust you Joe. I want to be with you. Please stop worrying, and next time something like this happens you have to tell me.”

  ​When we got back to his apartment he closed the door and picked me up in his arms to carry me to the bedroom. He lay me down on the bed and crawled over me.

  ​“You are the most important thing in my life. I couldn’t care less about the money, the business. It’s just you.” He kissed me so tenderly I wanted to cry. That night he made love to me, and it was truly beautiful. I had never felt more loved or worshipped.

  14

  ​The next morning I woke up feeling terrible. A wave of nausea came over me and I jumped out of bed running for the bathroom then emptied the contents of my stomach into the toilet. Urgh, what a classy way to start the day.

  ​“You okay?” Joe came to me in the bathroom, kneeling down beside me and holding my hair back. Bless him, he was such a gentleman.

  ​“I think I must have eaten something dodgy, I haven’t felt right for a few days now.” I groaned. Feeling the sickness rising again.

  ​“You can’t go to work like this.” He said getting his mobile and ringing through to my office. He left a message to say I had a bug and wouldn’t be in then he hung up and rubbed my back for me.

  ​“I’ll stay at home today, I can work from my study.”

  ​“No don’t do that, I’ll be fine, it’s probably a 24 hour bug that’s all.”

  ​“Ella, when was the last time you had a period?” I felt my face burn up. “Could you be pregnant?”

  ​I went into panic mode, my eyes were darting left and right. My brain working back over the dates. Shit I was due to come on last week and I hadn’t. With everything going on and trips to Las Vegas I hadn’t even thought about it. I’d been terrible at remembering to take my pill too. What had I done?

  ​“I’m due on in a few days.” I lied. “It’s probably that that’s making me feel rubbish.”

  ​“Okay.” He didn’t look convinced. “Do you want me to get you anything? Or can I call my doctor for you?

  ​“No, I’ll just stay in bed until it passes.” I dragged myself back into the bedroom and crawled under the duvet. Joe kissed the top of my head and told me to call for him if I needed anything at all. He would check in on me in a bit, but once he left I fell back off to sleep.

  ​When I woke later that afternoon I felt slightly better, although I still had a yukky feeling that wouldn’t go away. I crept quietly to the kitchen to get a plain biscuit, hoping that would help with the nausea, then headed to the bathroom to shower and brush my teeth. All the while I couldn’t get those damn dates out of my head. What if I had gotten myself pregnant? This was so bad, with everything going on the last thing either of us needed was a baby. I was just starting out in my career, I felt like I could barely look after myself let alone a child and I’d been drinking alcohol these last few weeks. It just couldn’t happen.

  ​I dressed in some comfy jeans and a t-shirt then headed to Joe’s study.

  ​“I’m just gonna pop out for some stuff I need from the chemist I won’t be long.”

  ​“I’ll drive you.” Joe said jumping up from his desk.

  ​“It’s only round the corner, stay here I’ll be fine.”

  ​“Ella, you know I can’t do that.” His eyes pierced me with their over bearing stare.

  ​“Okay, but stay in the car, I’ll be quicker if I can run into the shop and grab what I need without you tailing me.”

  ​“That’s Fine, as long as I can park right by the door.”

  ​I prayed there would be a space out front as he drove me to the local chemist. Thank goodness there was. I told him to wait with the engine running and I jumped out of the car and into the chemist.

  ​Please God let him still be outside I thought as I approached the counter and asked the young girl behind if I could have a pregnancy test. They were always kept behind the cashier so there was no sneaking it in with the rest of my shopping here. She smiled and passed it to me, but I couldn’t make eye contact with her, I just wanted to pay and leave.

  ​Once back outside I put the white paper bag into my jacket pocket and climbed back in the car.

  ​“All sorted.” I said slightly out of breathe.

  ​“You sound like you ran a marathon in there.” He joked.

  ​“I got out in record time didn’t I?” He laughed and sped off. I couldn’t get away fast enough. ‘Please just get me home so I can put my mind at rest’, I thought to myself.

  ​Once we got back home he insisted on making me something to eat, then fussing round me putting me back to bed and fluffing up my pillows.

  ​“I’m fine now, just go and do some work.” I moaned whilst flicking through the channels of the TV in the bedroom and settling on a girlie reality show that had him hot footing it back to his man cave.

  ​When I was sure he wasn’t coming back in any time soon I sneaked out of bed to the bathroom and locked the door. I took the test out the packaging and read the instructions but it wasn’t rocket science. Pee on the stick and leave it for a few minutes, then it’ll tell you in words on the little screen one way or the other. All pretty simple and yet it meant the difference between my normal life and one that would throw me into total chaos. I glanced down at my flat belly and wondered if there was a tiny thing growing inside there. I just couldn’t imagine it. It was surreal.

  ​I took the test and then popped it on the counter by the sink as I washed my hands. I looked at my watch to time the minutes but when it came time to look I couldn’t do it. I was shaking. What would I do if it was positive? I looked at myself in the mirror and gave myself a mental pep talk. ‘Whatever happens you can do this Ella, now man up and find out if you need to start shopping in the maternity section of Harvey Nicks’. I laughed at the absurdity of it, I couldn’t be pregnant I hadn’t missed that many pills and I knew from some older friends how hard it was for them to ‘catch’ as they put it. I picked up the test stick and almost stumbled back as I read the words, pregnant. I looked up into the mirror, my face was grey.

  ​“Oh shit.” I gasped and sunk down to the floor. What should I do? I didn’t want to tell Joe, he had so much on his shoulders at the moment and could barely cope, but I needed to talk to someone. I couldn’t keep something like this to myself. I felt numb, with fear. What could I do, I had been so stupid. I would never have an abortion, I knew that, but trying to get my head around the changes I now faced in my life was all too much. I felt like locking myself in this bathroom forever like a child, hiding away from my nightmares. I looked down at my tummy again and ran my hand over it. I didn’t even know how to hold a baby properly let alone care for one day in day out.

  ​“Sorry, I shouldn’t think of you as a nightmare should I.” I whispered to my belly, “It’s not your faulty I fucked up big style.”

  I opened the door as slowly as I could and crept stealthily back to the bed. I put the test into the zipped part of my handbag. I felt ashamed, how could I have been so careless? I would have to make sure Joe didn’t go into my bag and find the test. I picked up my phone and saw a text from Chris asking me how I was feeling now and would I be in tomorrow. I was about to text back when Joe popped his head round the door.

  ​“I have to pop to the club a bit later will you be okay here on your own?”

  ​“Yeah sure, what time are you leaving?”

  ​“About 4 is that okay?”

  ​“Of course, can I have Chris round when you’re out?”

  ​“You can have anyone round, it’s your home too baby.” He closed the door and I picked up my phone to ring Chris and see if he was free to come round later.

  ​“Elle, how are you Chica?” Chris was
driving judging from the sounds in the background.

  ​“I’m still feeling a bit rough but I’m okay. Are you heading to a meeting?”

  ​“I’ve got to do a pitch across the other side of the city but it’s no biggie. I’ll nail it.” He was so cocksure. “What’s up anyway? Did you and Joe sort everything out last night?”

  ​“Yeah we did, and I’m moving into his apartment.”

  ​“Woah! That’s huge news. How do you feel about that?”

  ​“It feels good, natural.” I replied. “What time are you finishing today, only I need someone to talk to and I thought you might pop round here, see the apartment and me and we could…chat?”

  ​“Anything for you baby doll, I can be with you anytime. I’m finishing about 3 but I can tell Eric it ran over and I clocked off and went home after 5.”

  ​“Thanks Chris is 4ish okay?”

  ​“Perfect, get the kettle on ready for me. I can’t wait to see what Joe’s bachelor pad looks like. Does it have a dungeon?”

  ​“With shackles, chains, whips the lot. You can try it out if you like.”

  ​He howled down the phone, “I bet, he looks like a kinky sod!”

  ​I rung off and lay back on my pillow staring at the ceiling trying to imagine what my life would be like with a baby in it. I just couldn’t picture it at all. This was so not how I wanted to become a Mum. I doubted a puking, screaming baby would fit into Joe’s perfect apartment and ordered life either. We hadn’t even spoken about children. What if he didn’t want any? ‘Ella, you left it a bit late to find out’ I cursed myself. I slid my ring off and placed it into my bedside table. One revelation was enough for Chris to handle this afternoon, I didn’t want to overload him with gossip.

  ​Later that afternoon, I opened the door to a dazzling smile from my gorgeous friend Chris.

  ​“Hun you look terrible, don’t hug me I don’t want to catch anything.” He tiptoed around me like I had the plague and entered the apartment, his mouth dropping open as he took it all in.

  ​“I don’t think you have to worry about catching anything.” I grumbled but he wasn’t listening. He was too engrossed in looking around and taking everything in.